Hello Sam

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I’ve been avoiding posting about this one since Saturday. A major disappointment. Another failure from a promising looking burger joint near my new digs. Sad face!

I had been meaning to make it to Hello Sam for a few weeks now, and perhaps the expectation has weighed down their performance somewhat. Typically (according to my stereotype) this experience came complete with the usual crap Chapel St attitude and service we all know and love. Couldn’t muster a smile, didn’t care, forgot my beer, then expected me to rave about the place.

To the positive first. These onion rings were amazing, served with an equally amazing aioli (albeit from a factory). Crunchy, oniony, fryolated deliciousness of the highest order. …but this is a burger place!

Please, please, please, for the love of god never, ever, ever put salad mix on a burger. The bitterness of the leaves adds far too much complexity to what is one of the simplest forms of deliciousness known to man. And don’t mess with the cheese! I don’t know what they did with the cheese, but it was not good. Almost like they spread a thick layer of mayonnaise on the patty, then melted a slice of cheese over the top. I suspect that it is far more technical than that. Something more along the lines of a Heston Blumenthal-esque act of scientific wizardry, which was totally unnecessary. No need to be too cool for school people. K-I-S-S!

Take me back to Collingwood for a real burger. Richmond; you suck. South Yarra; you suck. Gareth, we’re going somewhere else…

PS. Pinky had the double and looked happy. Was hard for him to offer any praise, as I was whining so loudly. Does look meaty and delicious!

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Hello Sam Burger Cafe Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

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