Captain America’s Hamburger Heaven


Heaven is the last word I would use to describe the hamburger’s here. My God! Closer to hell as far as I am concerned. I came here against my will – my third visit across the span of almost 30 years that Captain America’s has been trading. Despite my early refusal to come along for this burger adventure, I eventually capitulated. What a mistake.

Some might put forward the argument that 30 years of being in business would suggest that they are doing something right. I will admit that there is a (potentially large) segment of the population that believes size matters when it comes to food. The bigger the feed, the better it is. These same people must be the learn-ed reviewers that have collectively given this place a ridiculously generous rating on Zomato.

Yes, the burger was big. No I didn’t eat it all. It tasted terrible. Even if this was the best burger ever the portion was too large for the average persons recommended daily intake. And that’s just for a stadard burger. The “burger challenge” was something so ridiculously large, and the male record for eating it all stands at 5:37 at the time of my visit. I can not, and will not condone these challenges.

So, the details are: plastic cheese; plain white soft dough bun that was flavourless; overcooked patty that was tough and rubbery; way too much lettuce; and just a general lack of flavour. Any flavour was artificial and just bad. Of course the parsley garnish was a nice touch; back in the 1980’s!


The waitress kindly warned us that they were “breaking in a new chef” that night. Judging by my last visit (15+ years ago), the standard of the new guy is on a par with the past. There were a few issues that would be sorted out by some more practice from the kitchen. For instance, the buffalo wings we ordered could have benefited from the spicy sauce that we ordered, but did not receive.


There was some American kitsch that did somewhat add to the experience – if you like that kind of thing. Car license plates all over the walls; “funny” quotes/sayings painted on the ceiling; and just a general OTT approach to interior design. Probably par for the course in the American diner world, but starting to look a little dated in it’s old age. Kids probably enjoy this stuff too.

Overall, I have learned a very important lesson. Next time someone asks me to visit Captain America’s Hamburger Heaven I will so no. Categorically. Absolutely. Unflinchingly. Without a second thought. NO!

Captain America's Hamburger Heaven Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato


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